Full Surrender Page 7

  He’d expected a tough time holding back, but in the aftermath of her orgasm, he felt more grounded than what he’d imagined he might. He wanted her, of course. Badly. But he’d given her the kind of experience she needed to start feeling more confidence again, and that felt incredible.

  Hell, just watching her reach that pinnacle was an experience he’d never forget. That fulfillment helped him as he began the battle to will away the mother of all hard-ons. But this had to be about her.

  They held each other in the glow from the dim chandelier for long minutes. He pulled a blanket over them and listened to her breathing until it went back to normal. The sound of her soft sighs provided a kind of ease he hadn’t known in forever.

  He was almost able to draw a whole breath again when she shifted beside him, her smooth thigh grazing his leg as she rolled closer. On cue, his body returned to full-on happy mode, ready to take care of her every need.

  Damn it.

  “This isn’t a one-way street,” she whispered against his lips, her hand coming to rest on his chest. “I’m more than ready to return the favor.”

  His blood pounded in his veins, the need for her turning into a throbbing ache all over again. But as much as he wanted to bury himself inside her, he didn’t want to rush the progress they’d made.

  “There is nothing to return,” he assured her, kissing her eyelids so that he wasn’t mesmerized by those wide blue eyes. “I got to see you find release and that was...so much more than I ever would have expected tonight.”

  The high road never killed anyone, right? Although the pain in his balls after this self-denial would probably come close.

  “Are you sure?” She frowned and opened her eyes again, clearly concerned for him.

  And that, as much as getting to touch her, made him a happy man. If she cared about him like that, there might be hope for something more down the road.

  “Positive.” He dragged another blanket over them along with the first. “Do you want me to leave the light on?”

  She bit her lip, her indecision so palpable that he remembered why he was holding back. No doubt she was still battling some demons from her past.

  “If you don’t mind, that would be great.” She smiled gratefully over her shoulder while she lay down on her side.

  Danny tucked her against him, careful to keep his hips out of the equation.

  “No problem.” He stroked her back long after she fell asleep in his arms.

  Yeah, the light on was no big deal. But the fact that she needed time to trust again, coupled with him leaving in twenty-one days, was going to be a hell of an obstacle.

  7

  TWO DAYS LATER, Stephanie had to pinch herself to be sure she wasn’t dreaming.

  She was finally sitting next to Danny Murphy again after waiting and waiting for him to come back to the States. He’d proven to her—several times since that first night together—she could hit her sexual peak with him and everything was in good working order on that front. Now, she mulled over the selection of wines stashed above the wet bar of the Murphy Resorts corporate jet on the flight to Cape Cod for Danny’s welcome-home party.

  It was a dream come true, if only she could convince Danny she was ready to take the next step physically. But it was tough to ask for more from a man who kept bringing her to heights of pleasure she’d forgotten existed.

  “I can’t believe your father sent a company plane to pick you up,” she mused while she ran her hand over bottles of Tempranillo and Beaujolais and other wines made from varietals she’d never even heard of before. “It must have been quite an experience being a kid in your family.”

  Maybe talking about the Murphys would prepare her better for this time spent at his childhood home. Besides, she could use a distraction from thinking about how much she wanted to advance to the next level of recharging her mojo—sex with Danny. She’d dreamed about it both nights she’d fallen asleep in his arms after he’d touched her.

  “We were fortunate,” he admitted, pocketing his phone that he’d just used to text his family that they were airborne. “And trust me, my dad doesn’t usually roll out the company plane for his sons to travel home. He runs the business by the book. But Jack’s wedding is a special occasion, so I think he pulled some strings to hire out the plane himself this week to transport the family.”

  “I don’t have any siblings.” She left the wet bar to investigate a wall full of television screens and a low bookshelf beneath them. “I can’t imagine how helpful it would be having a brother or sister to occupy at least half of my parents’ compulsive attention.”

  “You’ve never said much about them.” He slid his shoes off for the flight, making himself comfortable in the leather chair that looked like it belonged in a living room instead of a jet.

  She debated what to say about her family, not wanting to lose the fun mood of the trip. They’d kept things pretty light so far, Danny regaling her with anecdotes from life aboard the USS Brady and Stephanie telling him about various pets she’d photographed.

  Maybe the time had come to share a little more if she ever expected things between them to...escalate.

  “My mom will freely admit she wasn’t cut out to be a mother.” Stephanie would spare him how much that had hurt over the years, especially when she was in grade school and her parents had never shown up for ornament-making day at Christmas, or the dance performances she’d worked hard on all year. “She didn’t really recognize the value of treating children like children and was more interested in seeing me excel at math or playing the violin, both of which I despised.”

  Whereas she’d made kick-ass ornaments and represented herself well at those dance recitals. But she wasn’t the only kid to feel that she’d disappointed her parents.

  “Sounds like a high-pressure environment. Your mom is an author, right?” He leaned forward in his chair to listen, elbows on his knees. He wore khaki cargo shorts and a T-shirt over his sculpted chest.

  “She’s a literary novelist with two critically acclaimed books to her name. My mom is an overachiever. She was class valedictorian in high school and has conducted the rest of her life as if she’s still competing for the honor. She needs to be the best in everything and I think it bums her out to have a daughter who...isn’t.”

  “She’s blind,” Danny said matter-of-factly. “It’s unfortunate she can’t see how incredible you are.”

  Leaving the wall of TV screens, Stephanie lowered herself to the leather chair beside him, smoothing out her blue-and-yellow print skirt so it didn’t wrinkle. Bright afternoon sun filtered through the round windows beside them, the sky clear and cloudless.

  “Thank you.” She warmed inside at his assessment, still surprised at his easy acceptance of her sudden presence in his life and her unorthodox request of him. “I’ve grown used to her desperate pleas for me to turn my life to something more worthwhile than photographing pets. It was her idea that I write that book about my experiences, by the way. A book she became highly embarrassed about after critics slammed it.”

  Stephanie may have recovered from her mom missing the dance recitals, but that slight still bothered her. Especially when her mother insisted on telling her all the ways that she needed to improve her job prospects, her social circle, her dating life. Why couldn’t her mother appreciate the things she did well instead of focusing on all the ways she thought Stephanie fell short? She’d been dodging calls from her mom ever since heading to meet the USS Brady, knowing her mother would want to know she’d made the trip safely. She’d have to call home when she touched down in Cape Cod, though, as she didn’t want her mother to worry herself sick.

  Danny took her hand between his and held it quietly until she looked his way.

  “At least she admits she wasn’t cut out to be a mother,” he reminded her. “I hope you remember that when she’s knocking your work. Maybe she just doesn’t know how to offer maternal support.”

  “I know.” She smiled, liking Danny far too much. He wa
s a whole lot more than the defiant, bohemian rocker she remembered. In fact, he wasn’t really much like she’d recalled at all. But there was still an intense attraction between them, along with their mutual need to put their mark on the world outside of familial expectations.

  But then, they’d gotten to know each other better the last two days than they had in that sex-crazed fling they’d had in New York five years ago. She now understood his inherent sense of honor, his fierce work ethic—no matter how laid-back he sometimes seemed—and the gentle soul underneath it all who still played guitar like nobody’s business. She’d sat beside him on the deck again the night before—he’d played for at least an hour and they’d both been completely lost in the music.

  “What about your mom? I read a little bit about your family online, but there isn’t as much about her.” She was curious about the Murphys and wondered if she would fit into the group this week. “You’ve talked about how competitive your brothers are... Is she as driven as the rest of your family?”

  What if his family didn’t like the idea of her seeking him out after all this time, especially after she’d accidentally ignored his attempts to contact her? Guilt pinched. Sure, Danny’s mother had seemed pleased that he’d have someone to meet him at the dock, but what would she think about them continuing a relationship? She squeezed Danny’s hand tighter as the plane wobbled on a patch of turbulence and new doubts set in.

  “I wouldn’t call my mom driven.” Danny leaned over to fasten her seat belt for her, reminding her that the luxurious leather chairs weren’t just for looks and that she and Danny were still suspended over the Atlantic for this trip. “She’s the real rock beneath dad’s ambition, the glue that holds the whole thing together. My father is a scrapper who came from a poor family, and he was sort of blown away when he met my mom as a teenager. They eloped when her parents didn’t approve of him. I’m pretty sure he’s been trying to impress her for the last thirty-some years by growing a global business out of nothing more than ingenuity and hard work.”

  “Oh, my God. That’s so romantic.” She hugged her arms around herself and turned to face him, tucking her legs beneath her so that her skirt fell over the edge of the chair. “I can’t imagine being so swept away by love that you just turn your back on everything else to pursue it.”

  “No?” Danny frowned, his expression turning pensive. “I guess I never thought about how well that worked out for them. They didn’t hesitate. Didn’t wait around for the perfect opportunity.”

  She thought he might explain what he was thinking, but he settled back and seemed lost in his own world until the pilot announced they should be past the turbulence in another few minutes.

  Closing her eyes while she waited for the wobbling airplane to still, Stephanie hoped that this would be the only bumpy ride they took while Danny was home for the next few weeks. Their time together was too short to waste a single moment.

  * * *

  DANNY FORGOT ALL ABOUT the turbulence, thinking about the way his dad had acted without delay to be with the woman he loved. For some reason, Danny had always assumed that times were simpler back then and that the path to eloping had been more clear-cut because it was the 1970s. But that was the era of the sexual revolution. Women’s rights. Maybe it hadn’t been easy at all and Dad had pulled it off because Mom was just that damn important to him.

  Weird to think about that now, as an adult, with a different perspective from when he’d heard the story as a kid. The elopement had always been just another scrap of Murphy family lore. Now? Danny admired the hell out of his dad for knowing what he wanted and going after it.

  Danny had known Stephanie was special five years ago. So why had he been content to let her go with a wave and a grin after the incredible five days they’d spent together? Sure, he’d figured he’d call her when she came back home, but he’d let her slip through his fingers, leaving her vulnerable to...

  Crap. The old guilt resurfaced with a vengeance. Especially considering how they’d left things at the time....

  * * *

  STEPHANIE LAY BESIDE him after they’d hit the high note for the fourth time that day. Or was it the fifth?

  Depended on if you counted what they’d done in the shower near her condo’s pool. They’d been so close to finishing when they’d heard voices outside.

  “I can’t believe I have to leave in two days.” She sighed as she pulled the female superhero sheets up to her chin.

  Her furnishings were the eclectic mix of a graduate student. A glitzy, mirrored chest of drawers was covered in old-fashioned crystal perfume bottles, and framed prints of old movie posters were surrounded by ticket stubs from local shows. Of course, Stephanie was a dichotomy, too. Sexy and sensual, but down-to-earth and completely unpretentious. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t left her place since he’d arrived three days ago.

  He was ignoring all his calls and had missed a practice with the band. But who wouldn’t if they had a chance with her?

  “I wish it was me who was going,” he admitted, sharing a wish he’d never told anyone else.

  “Seriously?” She propped her head on her hand, balanced on one elbow. The red piece of licorice he’d tied around her wrist like a bracelet earlier slid down her arm and he looked forward to eating it off her soon. “You wouldn’t mind heading into a war zone?”

  His gut tightened when he thought of her over there. “I’ve always figured it would be cool to serve. You know that old parable about to him much is given, much is expected?” He shrugged, not sure how to explain it any better than that. “I’ve been given a hell of a lot.”

  Her blue eyes turned thoughtful. More serious than usual. “I just want to get away. Christina was looking for volunteers and I jumped. I thought I’d never win the slot to film her interviews, but it turns out that most people at the news magazine where I intern have families. None of them wanted to go overseas. So the next thing I knew, the job was mine.”

  He realized they’d have an interpreter. Understood that Christina was well-schooled in politics and journalism even if Stephanie was a young film student without a lot of experience. Still...the idea of her over there bothered him. Tough to say why, when they’d only known each other briefly. All along she’d been open about the fact that she just wanted to have fun right up until she left on Friday.

  “At least you’ll be conducting interviews from a well-secured base, right?” He couldn’t ignore the creepy feeling crawling up his back, a spidery chill despite the warmth of his body from their sensual exertions.

  “So I hear.” She smiled that wry half grin of hers that always made him feel like he was part of an inside joke. “But if you’d rather move in and be my sex toy for the year, maybe I can sell my plane ticket to someone else.”

  She palmed his thigh and started a slow stroke upward, her gaze never leaving his. His body stirred automatically, no matter the dark thoughts stirring around his brain.

  “Sex toy?” He traced her mouth with one finger, dipping between her lips until she closed her eyes and drew on the digit. “I wouldn’t give it up for a whole year without a commitment. I think you’d have to elope with me.”

  Her eyes popped wide and she let go of his thigh to grip his wrist and squeeze the finger he’d been teasing her with.

  “Oh, really?” She nodded slowly. “A Vegas wedding. I can see it now—you in a tacky Hawaiian shirt and the free high-roller Ray-Bans from our motel. Me in a feathered showgirl outfit with the big headdress instead of a veil.”

  “We’d need an Elvis impersonator,” he added.

  “That’d be the chaplain, of course.” She shimmied seductively beneath the sheet that covered her. “And afterward, I’d give you a VIP lap dance worthy of the showgirl outfit.”

  He clamped a hand on her hip and pinned her to the bed with his thigh over hers.

  “We are going to seriously consider this plan....”

  * * *

  BLINKING HIS WAY OUT of the memory and back to the privat
e plane bound for Cape Cod, Danny wished they truly had considered the long-ago plan. What might their lives have been like if they’d talked each other into one more crazy day together, capped by a trip to Vegas?

  Instead, she’d risked her life and come home with scars she kept hidden—the kind on the inside that she hadn’t really shared with him yet. And he’d altered his path for good so that now he didn’t have the freedom that he used to, his future committed to the navy. Should he even try to tell her how he felt about her? Make a bid for her even though he’d be on a ship for three quarters of every year until he moved up in rank?

  Or just enjoy the moment as he had the first time they’d met, leaving her free to find a guy who wouldn’t be gone all the time?

  The answers weren’t as obvious to him as they had been even two days ago. He just knew he couldn’t allow her to be hurt again, even if that meant letting her go at the end of his three-week stint at home.

  While his head throbbed with the need for answers, the turbulence settled. Unfastening her seat belt, Stephanie got up to explore the plane and his iPhone chimed with the tone reserved for an incoming video call.

  He checked the ID and saw it was his younger brother, Kyle. He answered, watching as Kyle’s face filled the screen, a blur of blue, black and white behind him. Danny recognized the Phantoms’ locker room from the din of guys shouting as much as the oversize logo on a wall in the background.

  “Hey, bro!” Kyle shouted into the phone in an attempt to be heard over the noise around him.

  An NHL hockey star, Kyle had just started training camp with the Philadelphia Phantoms after leading them to the Stanley Cup the year before.

  “Hey, yourself.” Danny smiled over at Stephanie to let her know the call wasn’t private. “It’s just my kid brother,” he told her. “Want to say hi?”

  She nodded, but she lowered her voice. “You’re allowed to use a cell phone on the plane?”